Interview with softball player Haley Meinen
Have you ever wondered what it’s like for your childhood dreams to come true? For Haley, her 8 year old dream came true by playing college softball. Haley and I had this conversation about the highs of playing college sports, and then the struggles of what happens afterwards. This includes finding a job after sports, figuring out a workout routine, and more.
Haley is someone that will be a lifelong friend from college and we can always pick up right where we left off no matter how long it has been since we last saw each other. She is my second interview for Once An Athlete because she is someone that I admire for making it through 5 years of college after facing so much adversity. I hope readers can relate with her experience and she can be an inspiration.
Some background: I have known Haley since she transferred to the University of Tulsa in the fall of 2016 and joined our softball team. TU is a very small campus with less than 4,000 students. We participated in Division 1 athletics in the American Athletic Conference.
Haley has a dog named Snipe who is part chihuahua part jack russell. Her favorite singer is Carrie Underwood. Her favorite TV show is Friends. In her free time she likes to stay active by walking her dog, doing workouts, etc.
Q: When did you start playing sports?
A: Soccer when I was 4 or 5.
Q: When did you start playing competitive?
A: 8 and under All Stars for softball.
Q: How many / what sports did you play competitively?
A: In middle school I joined the school basketball team but other than that, only softball.
Q: How did growing up in Texas affect your sport?
A: You get to play all year long basically because the weather is pretty good and there are always tournaments in Texas. There are a lot of high level competitive teams in California, Texas and Florida so the level of play growing up in Texas was always one of the best.
Q: What was your injury and how did you recover from it? Physically and mentally.
A: I had a tear in my rotator cuff coupled with inflammation in my labrum and an impingement in my shoulder. Physically - I did injections and such, strengthened the shoulder back up, did a throwing progression, and avoided surgery. I didn’t lose as much strength as I would have if I did do surgery. Mentally - once I got to Tulsa, I got comfortable with my teammates, coaches treated me nicely, and my appreciation for daily stuff went up. I don’t have a guarantee for the sport. You can get injured any day and right then your career is over. I changed my perspective to “I get to do this” and that helped me mentally to attack the game better and be more mature.
Q: What made you choose Tulsa? How did you know it was a better fit for you than your first school?
A: The injury was one of the least of my problems I had to recover from. It was a lot more mental side that I was torn down. Physically, I was trying to build back who I knew I was in high school and get back the skills I know I have as the pitcher, hitter, and fielder. I was mentally drained so that made the physical injury especially tough. I needed to be somewhere else to help myself mentally. The pitching was something I thought I had to give up. I originally told Coach J (Tulsa’s head coach at the time) that I didn’t really want to pitch. What had me realize Tulsa was the right fit was that Coach J was understanding of my injury. He would always ask me “how is your shoulder? Is it sore?”. He worked with me so I had the least amount of pain. It was nice that he was willing to work with me knowing that I wasn’t 100% the player he saw when I pitched and hit against Tulsa before. He didn’t seem so bothered by my injury and he was willing to work with me. He reassured me because I was freaking out the summer before going to Tulsa asking myself, “am I going to play?”. I couldn’t guarantee anything about my performance. Physically I recovered faster than mentally because I doubted myself.
Q: In what ways has playing a sport shaped your life today?
A: I don’t know what my life would look like without sports. I’d probably be bored. I have no idea what it would look like to not play sports.
Q: What was your favorite part about being a student-athlete?
A: Even when I was 8 I had big dreams. Softball was always something I looked forward to and I knew I would do it for a long time. It was really cool to follow through with that. Dreams do come true. It was what I really wanted as a kid. I wish 8 year old me could watch me in college because the fact that my biggest dreams at that age came true is really cool.
Q: How did your softball career come to an end?
A: We made it to the NCAA Regionals in Stillwater at Oklahoma State. We got to the championship game. We lost the fight against OSU 2-1 and I graduated.
Q: How did you come to the decision to be a coach?
A: I majored in communications because it has always been a goal in life to commentate for softball. I’ve applied for so many jobs in social media and in my field. They always want experience with any entry level job. One time I was in an interview and the interviewer asked me a team related question. I responded with the fact that I’ve played on many competitive softball teams and I understand what it’s like to rely on teammates in stressful situations. The interviewer was not understanding of my sport background with the team question. The interviewer told me “this isn’t a game, Haley. Tell me a real answer”. We come out of spending a better part of our lives perfecting a sport and for people to write you off that our sport background wasn’t serious and discredit that experience as something that isn’t valuable to them is upsetting because I took that experience as an athlete seriously. I want to put that experience and work ethic into something else because that is how I am. I enjoyed softball but I also took it seriously. We are used to being around people who have similar goals and mindsets and then in the world with jobs, it doesn’t feel the same. There is a level of commitment and drive and self discipline that you have to work hard behind closed doors. It’s frustrating that job interviewers don’t give us a chance. I honestly cannot imagine a life that doesn’t involve softball. I didn’t think of myself as a coach right away but after months of being upset about not being involved with softball anymore and not having any luck with the job-searching process, I decided I was going to the nearest cages. I became the front desk clerk there and became a coach. It became a relief to become involved with softball again and relate to it still. It is like a resemblance with life before. I never thought of myself as good with kids but we have the common love for the game and that is what motivates me and keeps me going as a coach.
Q: You are still involved with the sport and you still pitch and hit sometimes. How are your softball days now different than when you were in college?
A: A lot less competitive. I try to haver a schedule and that helps a lot. When I don’t have things on my schedule then it gets boring. It’s fun for me to be around the sport. It’s cool to see the kids at different ages and levels. I enjoy showing them drills I did in college and it’s nice to relay everything I learned in college back to them. I still wish it was me practicing for competition but it’s nice to help them be good at the game.
Q: Did you struggle with your college / competitive career ending?
A: I struggled real bad. As soon as I hit first base after grounding out, I was bawling. My teammate met me at the edge of the dugout. She knew I was struggling but she said we have to cheer for the girl at bat. I did my best. It could have been my say that it was over, but I didn’t get that say. I used up all my eligibility and I was graduating, so that means it’s over for me. I can’t play anymore and I felt like I wasn’t done. When it was time for the fall semester to start up again and I wasn’t going with everyone back to school, I struggled a lot with the fact that I’m sitting at home and it’s like 3 months ago I was on one of the biggest stages in softball playing against some of the best teams with the best people. I’m like, I don’t know what I’m doing. It was a struggle because I felt like it was taken away from me instead of making peace with it and ending it on my own. I struggle with finding a workout schedule because in college it was something we were told to do. I feel like I need to workout for something. Even when I did CrossFit in college, it was self motivated but it was for training to play college softball. Now I wish there was something to train for.
Q: What advice would you give to current student athletes?
A: I feel like athletes get burned out when they get to college. I get that, but at the end of the day when they’re done they’re not going to get a chance to go re-do it. Go all in. In your off days, that is when you should do what you want to do. If you’re there and you still love the sport at all, go all in. There is no do-over, no second chance. Not knowing an opportunity I would have after my injury made my mentality better as a pitcher. I know if I do my best that day but it’s not a great performance, I was okay. That took a lot of pressure off of me and I was going to take things a day at a time. At the end of the day, you’re only going to play 4 years, then maybe you’ll play after college. You’re not even guaranteed those years. Your career could end in an injury or something. Do you really want to end your career unknowingly with a practice or a game that you didn’t fully try? You should end knowing you gave 100% efforts.
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is recently done with playing a sport?
A: I think it would help, if they’re struggling with it, to find a way to be involved. Coaching isn’t for everyone so it may look like mentoring, interacting with girls that are coming up, etc. It gives you perspective and an outlet for missing the game. It’s inevitable, and even if you didn’t love it, you still made friends and connections.
Q: Do you have anything else to add?
A: Young ones, go take vacations, play other sports, take a day off, go do something normal kids do. Hang out with friends that don’t play your sport. Find a hobby that you can do because even when you are playing softball you may get overwhelmed and want to take a break from it and do something else. You might as well get good at something else too.
If you have any more questions for Haley, please leave comments below or contact me. For more information, head to my Q & A page. If you or someone you know is struggling, please call the Suicide Hotline. It’s toll free and available 24/7 at 800-273-8255.
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