Interview with softball player Ileana Wilson
Ileana is from Pharr, Texas, which is referred to as “The Valley”. It’s down south near South Padre Island. Her dad was a veteran and passed away when she was 14 years old. She is the youngest by 15 years. It’s rare that kids make it big from her hometown area and her dream was to go D1. She made it and got recruited to play softball at the University of Arkansas. Her playing career ended at Arkansas with a tear in her Lisfranc ligament at practice her freshman year which required surgery.
She came into college with enough credits to graduate her second year and then go to another school for her master’s program. She went to Texas A&M at Kingsville where she played softball again but her career ended again with a tear in her MCL, ACL, and meniscus from a collision at shortstop. She graduated with a master’s degree and went on to pursue a doctorate. She is married to Noah who is in the Navy and they have a 6 month old son named Anthony. They are currently stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. I wanted to hear her perspective with the adversity she has faced with multiple injuries and all of the things she has personally gone through.
She loves reading and is a fan of Harry Potter, specifically Hufflepuff. In her free time she also enjoys working out. Her doctorate dissertation was about athletes and body image. Please check it out if you’re interested!
Q: When did you start playing sports?
A: I started t ball at 5 with the baseball boys. I stuck with baseball until 8th grade and then I had to transition to softball in high school. In middle school I played basketball, soccer, and volleyball. In high school I played volleyball my freshman year and then I stopped to focus on softball.
Q: When did you start playing competitive?
A: I started to play competitively around 8th grade. It was hard to transition from baseball to softball. There was a different mindset. The first time I played softball, I tried out for a travel team with no idea what I was getting into. My softball career went from there.
Q: How did growing up in Pharr, Texas affect your sport?
A: Growing up in Pharr, near South Padre Island, softball in that area is kind of like a bubble. It was competitive but it was nothing like going out of the valley. The competitive bubble was like a 5 out of 10 and then out of the valley it was 10. My bubble popped playing in college. It was humbling because I had no idea how softball could be so different at that level. In that part of Texas, it’s hard for people to get out of that area. In the valley, the competitive level was like recreational ball mixed with travel.
Q: What was your family dynamic like with your sport?
A: Growing up, my dad was my baseball coach. We lost him when I was 14, so I was barely going into high school. It was difficult for me because I had to be the backbone for my mom and sister. It didn’t hit me that he died at that time. I hadn’t processed my grief. It was difficult because he was my coach and taught me everything I know about baseball and transitioning into softball.
Q: Do you feel like you would have done a different degree if you weren’t a student-athlete?
A: My bachelors degree was in English, my master’s was in reading education, and my doctorate was in educational leadership. I think I would have, yes. I was just talking about this the other day. I would do cyber security or computer science if I could go back with no distractions. I’m not very good at math and science so I tried to avoid that in college because it would be difficult while being a student-athlete.
I decided I wanted to teach so I got my degree in English to be an English teacher. After Arkansas I went back to Texas and played 2 years at Texas A&M at Kingsville. I decided to get my master’s degree to be a reading specialist. To do that, I needed a year of practicum. I became a lecturer at the University and taught undergrad students for 2 years. I wanted to be a professor so I went for a PhD. It is difficult to teach when my husband is in the military moving around where he is stationed. I am now working from home. If I could start over, I would do something engineering or computer science even if it was difficult.
Q: How did playing competitive softball shape who you are today?
A: My college softball experience was very humbling but it also taught me it’s okay to fail. I’ve failed many times my first year at Arkansas and my next years at Kingsville. I tried to be perfect throughout my college career and me trying to do that didn’t let me be who I was as a player.
Q: How did you cope with the end of your playing career being in injuries?
A: My Freshman year at Arkansas I broke my foot. It was a hard surgery to recover from. When I went to Texas after graduating, I wasn’t initially going to play. I was going to be a Graduate Assistant but the coach convinced me to play since I had eligibility. The first scrimmage of the game, the runner was stealing second, I went to get the ball and the runner ran into me and blew out my knee. My foot surgery hurt more than my knee surgery. Now that it’s been a few years, my knee hurts more than my foot.
It was really hard, but I think I came to terms with me as a player and in general. I had to reflect how I’d go about my life without softball. It has been hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I miss it, but at the same time I’m okay. It was crazy and insane, I’m not sure how I got injured back to back but I took it as everything happens for a reason.
In my newfound free time, I focused on my studies and I took up on working out. I went to CrossFit, I would go to gym, and I took up running. Running has been helping me stay in shape and it’s helped me mentally. I’ve found that going on a run helps me clear my head. I’ve done 5K’s 10K’s, and half marathons.
Q: How did you decide on your doctorate dissertation on athletes and body image?
A: My dissertation was on the differences on eating disorder support in Division 1 and 2 institutions. I went through an eating disorder while playing softball because I had anxiety from my idea of being perfect. I saw a lot of people go through a lot of disordered eating and body image issues. It stemmed from me not grieving over my dad, striving to be perfect for him, and it roots back to that. In social media, and in everything that athletes have to witness, it’s hard to be perfect. I want colleges, universities, or institutions to have more support for that. Mental health is still a stigma.
I kind of put my doctorate work on the back burner because of work and having a baby. I hope if I send my dissertation to athletic departments they would at least have it in the back of their minds that it’s important. I would love to start with spreading awareness. It would be great if more athletic departments provided a counselor or a psychologist to help if anyone is going through anything. That would be a good resource for athletes. I had to suck in my pride and see one. It helped me understand why I was feeling and thinking that way. It all went back to trauma and not grieving my dad. People should take time to grieve. I should have taken that time for myself, but I tried to not focus on myself.
Q: Did you consider being a coach?
A: I wanted to be a coach when I wanted to teach high school. However, with my husband in the navy it’s hard. I’ve considered being AD (Athletic Director) for high school and maybe in college. I might do it down the road. I would really like to help college athletes. Even though I don’t have a psychology degree I would like to be there for them in as many ways I can.
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is recently done playing a sport?
A: Take time for yourself, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Live life day by day and remember to always breathe.
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is currently playing a sport?
A: It’s okay to fail. If you fail, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. You’re learning as you go and that’s how life is.
Q: Do you have anything else to add?
A: Don’t be afraid to go for what you want. (applicable to anyone reading this)
If you have any more questions for Ileana, please leave comments below or contact me. For more information, head to my Q & A page. If you or someone you know is struggling, please call the Suicide Hotline. It’s toll free and available 24/7 at 800-273-8255.
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